Rejection sucks. There, I said it. It’s out there now. Can’t take it back.
No, but seriously, rejection hurts so much. Being in the college application stage where all I can do now is sit and wait for results, I have to mentally prepare myself for the rejections I’m bound to receive. Having already received a few, I’ve experienced the devastating crush of reading “We’re sorry to inform you” and it doesn’t get any easier.
I know I set myself up by applying to so many top tier schools. But on the other hand, would I rather feel regret in 6 months, wondering what if?? At least by applying and getting a rejection, I know that for sure, they didn’t want me. Wondering what if might be even worse.
Is it bad for me to stay emotionally unattached to a school? To protect me from feelings later on. But does that show that I’m uncommitted? I don’t mean for it to come across that way. I’ve very interested in each of these schools and I’d be happy and would excel at any one of them.
Each time, it is worse and worse. Each rejection is another door closing. Another option is gone. Poof! Just like that, my pool of options diminishes. Leaving me with less time to look for more options. Hoping that deadlines haven’t passed.
Pretty much, moral of this is, no matter how many times I have to read those 5 words, there are always other things coming my way, and it’s not the end of the world. Somehow, through all the disappointment and the heartbreak, I’ll find something that I’m happy with.
My only hope is by the end of all this, I’ll find the school that I want, and they want me back.
365 days of endless possibilities. This is the year of ME. An open road with only myself to figure out where to go.
So many things are happening this year. I’m graduating. Finally leaving the public school system that I’ve been in for so many years. This also means, that I’m leaving behind friends, and other friends are surpassing me to go to bigger and better schools, thousands of miles away.
This is also the year of the unknown. It won’t be until May that I know where I’ll be in September. And even then, there is a lot of uncertainty. Who will I be rooming with? What major am I going to be studying? What classes will I have? What city will I be in? Am I going to be fine without my parents? And the friends that I’ve counted on for years. Even right now, there are quite a few people that have committed to schools, and they have their next 4 years planned out. This makes me a little nervous, it’s such a big decision and I still haven’t heard back from many of my schools. Additionally, I would be leaving the safety I’ve had for the past 7 years of school and routine.
Along with that, there’s also archery goals. As much as I want to put more time and effort toe the sport, I have a feeling that archery and competing is going to be taking a backseat for this year, at least while I’m finishing senior year. There are a couple of tournaments that I really want to go to, but as of right now, I don’t know how feasible that is.
With the amount of work that I’ve put into graphic design last year, I’m finally going to take the plunge and start my own freelance business. Along with that, I want to put myself out there and apply to graphic design positions with local agencies. This has potential for a lot of rejection, but I will never know if I don’t try.
I’m willing to give it my all, and see where I end up.
This year is unwritten, blank pages of a book left for me to fill in the blanks. I have ambitions for this year, and plan to fill every page with memories and accomplishments.